Career & Work
Conversation Moves That Make You Memorable
Specific moves for client calls, conferences, and networking. Pulled from Lowndes, stripped of the sleazy parts. Use them this week.
You’ve had this experience. You meet someone at an event. A week later you can’t recall their name, what they do, or whether you actually talked. Then there’s the other one. The person you remember six months later, even though they didn’t do anything theatrical.
The difference isn’t charisma. It’s a small set of moves that most people never bother to learn. Leil Lowndes wrote about a lot of them in How to Talk to Anyone. Some of her tactics feel dated and a little slick. The underlying mechanics, though, hold up. Strip the cheese, keep the bones, and you’ve got something useful for client calls, pitches, and the kind of in-person events where everyone is performing at each other.
Pick three of these this week. Use them on purpose. Watch what shifts.
Stop saying “what do you do?”
The default opener tells your brain to file the person under their job. Once they’re a job, you stop being curious. They become a row in a CRM in your head.
Your move: Replace it with “What are you working on lately?” or “What’s keeping you busy right now?” Both questions invite specifics instead of identities. Specifics give you something to actually talk about. Identities give you nothing.
If someone answers vaguely, “Oh, you know, the usual”, follow up with “Anything you’re particularly into or particularly sick of right now?” That second half is the key. It gives them permission to be honest, which is rare at networking events, and it tells your brain you’re talking to a person, not a role.
Use their name once, deliberately
Sales books tell you to repeat someone’s name constantly. That makes you sound like a hostage negotiator. Don’t do that.
Your move: Use their name once, near the start of the conversation, in a real sentence. “That’s a great question, Maya. Most people don’t ask it that way.” Then drop it. Saying it once anchors the name in your memory, signals that you registered them as an individual, and avoids the creep factor of repetition.
If you tend to forget names within ten seconds of hearing them, and most of us do, say it back in your first response. The act of speaking it out loud is what locks it in. Just thinking it doesn’t.
Match their energy first, then nudge it
The fastest way to feel “off” in a conversation is energy mismatch. They’re calm; you’re hyped. They’re loud; you’re flat. Both people end up wanting to leave.
Your move: For the first 30 seconds, match. Match volume, match pace, match posture. Then, if the conversation needs more warmth or more focus, nudge it there from inside the matched state. You’re not pretending to be them. You’re meeting them where they are before asking them to come with you.
This is especially useful on client calls. If the client is rattled, don’t open with cheerful efficiency. Slow down, lower your voice slightly, mirror their pace. Once you’re in sync, then bring the energy back up. People follow energy they’re already aligned with. They resist energy that arrives uninvited.
Ask the second question
Most networking conversations die on the first answer. Someone says what they do, you say something polite, the air goes flat.
Your move: After their first answer, ask a real second question. Not a polite follow-up. A curious one. “What got you into that originally?” “What’s the part of it that’s actually fun?” “What would you change about it if you could?”
The first question is small talk. The second question is conversation. The third question is connection. Most people stop at one. Be the person who reliably gets to three. You’ll find out more, you’ll be remembered more, and you’ll have something specific to say in your follow-up message. Which matters more than any polished follow-up template you could copy.
Give a specific compliment, not a vague one
“That was a great talk!” lands like nothing. The person has heard it forty times. They will not remember saying thank you to you.
Your move: Tell them which specific thing landed. “The part where you talked about firing the wrong first hire. That one’s going to stick with me.” Now you’ve given them something rare: evidence that you actually listened. You’re suddenly memorable, because most people gave them generic praise.
This works in client conversations too. “Your last email about scope changed how I’m thinking about my own contracts” beats “thanks for the great work” by a mile. Specific is rare. Rare is remembered.
Volunteer something slightly vulnerable, early
Conversations get sticky when one person breaks the small-talk surface. Most people wait for the other person to do it. Be the one who does it first.
Your move: Inside the first three minutes, share one real thing. Not a confession. A small admission. “I almost didn’t come tonight, honestly, my last event was rough.” “I just had a project blow up, so this is a nice distraction.” It signals that you’re an actual person and you trust them with a small piece of that. Most people respond by offering something similarly real, and the conversation drops into a different gear.
This is exactly the move that separates a genuine professional from a networker who’s secretly hating it. One is performing. The other is being a person, on purpose.
End the conversation cleanly
You will sometimes get stuck. You’ll feel the energy fade, you’ll know you should move on, and you’ll stand there nodding for another ten minutes because you don’t know how to leave.
Your move: Use this closer: “I’m really glad we ran into each other. I’m going to make a round before this wraps up, but let’s stay in touch. What’s the best way to reach you?” That single sentence does three jobs. It compliments them, it tells them you’re leaving, and it gives you a reason for their contact. Practice it until it’s automatic.
Then, and this matters, actually follow up within 48 hours. Mention the specific thing they said. Send the link you promised. The follow-up is where memorable becomes useful.
Your homework this week
Pick three. Just three.
I’d start with: ask the second question, give a specific compliment, end cleanly. Those three alone will put you in the top 10% of people anyone meets this month. The rest of the moves can come later.
Try them in low-stakes places first. A coffee shop conversation. A coworker check-in. A casual client call. By the time you need them at a real event, they’ll feel like yours.
You don’t have to become extroverted. You don’t have to fake warmth. You just have to be the one who actually pays attention while everyone else is performing. That’s the entire game.
Now go talk to someone. Today, if you can. Don’t read another article first.